Knowing if your man has the emotional maturity you need for a great relationship is a question that comes up in my workshops a lot. So I’ve shared this interesting – list ‘9 Ways To Know When You’re Dating A Man Not A Boy’ – first written by funny man and US dating coach Adam LoDolce . It appeared on one of my favourite sites, The Good Men Project.
Adam has listed aspects of a ‘man’ and some of their behaviours so that you can reflect on what’s going on, and perhaps ask yourself if the man you’re currently dating is emotionally mature ‘enough’ for you, and if he’s really worth your time.
He’s got some great videos which really lighten up the whole relationship minefield. Thanks Adam, for this insightful list, it’s perfect for my clients.
9 Ways To Know When You’re Dating A Man, Not A Boy
#1 Boys avoid uncomfortable conversations – men know how to communicate their needs.
Even the best relationships have friction. You’re going to do or say something he doesn’t like—it’s inevitable. Boys are passive aggressive, whereas a mature man will have a productive conversation with you…even if it’s a little awkward.
#2 Boys only want to hook up – men invest their time and energy in the right woman.
There’s a moment in every man’s life when he realizes that being in a relationship makes him significantly happier than chasing “tail” every night. If you’re only hearing from him at 1 a.m. on a Saturday night, he’s not ready to give up his toys. Move on and find yourself a grown man.
#3 Boys will compliment you to get in your pants – men pay compliments because they want you to feel great about yourself.
There’s a huge difference between delivering a compliment to get something and delivering a compliment to give something. Mature men are givers because they know a mature woman will reciprocate.
#4 Boys live day by day – men work hard to build a future for themselves and their woman.
When you’re only focused on making yourself happy, you can party every night and be lazy every day. Once you realize that other people are relying on you, you’re willing to make the sacrifices you need to support your family.
#5 Boys are intimidated by smart women – men are stimulated by them.
If he’s insecure about his own intellect, he won’t risk it with a smart girl. The boy will stay in his comfort zone, whereas a mature man wants the challenge of a smart woman.
#6 Boys make promises they can’t keep – men say it and mean it.
One of the biggest mistakes I’ve ever made was telling a woman I loved her when I didn’t mean it. I was a scared little boy trying to make a girl happy. A mature man will tell a woman how he feels when he feels it. And if it’s not there, he won’t make it up.
#7 Boys avoid any chance of rejection – men face their fears and go for it.
Here’s the thing, both men and boys hate getting rejected—no matter who you are, rejection sucks. The only difference is that a mature man will push through his fears and go for it anyway because you’re worth it.
#8 Boys don’t set priorities – a man realizes what’s most important and makes you a priority.
A mature man wants to spend his time with the people he cares about. And if he’s dating you, he cares about you. He will want to be with you and only you.
#9 Boys put you down – men encourage and support you.
Scared little boys will try to drag a woman down with them as a defense mechanism. A mature man understands that he will grow as a man if his woman is growing as a woman.
If you are ready to STOP BEING SINGLE. PERIOD. Then join the Dr Siva Coaching community. Based in central London, we meet for coffee and chat, and there’s a workshop for How To Stop Being Single. Period. Click for more details.
It would be great to be able to help you find your life partner!
This article was taken from The Good Men Project. It originally appeared on Adam’s blog.